Me all of 2020.

Think about an aspiring engineer.

Or an aspiring teacher, or doctor, or aspiring whatever.

At what point would you consider them no longer “aspiring?”

Aspiring is a funny word. It means to direct hope or ambition towards becoming a specific type of person. It’s weird to think you could be aspiring towards something right now and not even know it.

That’s kind of how 2020 felt for me.

How I Got Into Music Pre-2020

The first time I touched a music software was in 2016. I discovered GarageBand randomly after sifting through an iPad I bought for college. At the time, I knew nothing about making…

I’ve been practicing writing — no, righting — letters.

Like handwritten notes. I’ve been thinking about not having a cell phone. Also it’s cool to write hand written letters to people. Sometimes I send them, other times I don’t. It seems like a reasonable skill to have and it feels analog which I like. And genuine, because, well, it is when you do it by hand.

Writing by hand is different. Words come out if you not tapped in a mindless manner. A mistake feels okay. It’s adds to the realness. Writing makes you think. One of my earliest discoveries…

Photo by Magda V on Unsplash

This morning, I turned down a road I’d never been on. It was long, narrow, extending endlessly into the distance, lined with blooming adolescent trees.

It made me feel. It made me disassociate from the music playing, the bustling of my car, the idea of myself. I was there, just there and soon realized it was the first time I had been present in two weeks.

I am living in a new space. A side of me yearns to publicize my surroundings and declare the new things I am seeing and experiencing. …

Part of the struggle of having loads of free time is making use of it. What it means to make use of free time is up for debate.

I like to use it to somehow improve, or make progress, within a specific domain. That might mean reading a book that pushes the boundaries of what I know. It could mean putting the final touches on a song I’m mastering. Or it might mean practicing my follow through when throwing disc golf. All of these are examples of “productive” use of time — to me.

The battle, obviously, is seeking that…

“Work in Process” EP: Photo by Author

Well, this is technically my third.

I put out a laymans project in August 2018 called “Play on Words.” It was the first (and worst) music I ever released; it was borderline satirical. I wouldn’t even call it music now, it was honestly just me being an idiot with a less than basic understanding of audio production — which resulted in a comical collection of WAV files upon which I called “music.”

I found my means to suddenly create and release my own sounds on the Internet mostly ironic; I explain that here. Back in 2018, my life was, eh…

This is not what you think. Do not read this.

The upcoming month has the potential to be very special. I guess every month has this, but this month I have the potential to make it special.

I’m taking a break from work. Which as a college graduate, is worth mentioning. In May, I’m moving to Nashville so this 30-day break gives me a moment to prepare, relax, and transition.

I think about this time last year. How bizarre, beaten, and fragmented the world felt. 2020 was nuts. I remember being sent home to do my corporate job remotely —…

Listen to Hayes from the KY on Spotify.

One thing I’ve been thinking about is interpreting, and supporting, other artists’ music — specifically less known, up-and-coming artists. I know the joy that comes from others receiving and appreciating the music you make, so I want to take the opportunity to reciprocate the energy, write about something I love (music), and share dope art.

I listened to “Kentucky Fried” last night when I saw it pop up on my Spotify. I’ve been following dude on Instagram for a while and always thought he had a relatable, tangible ambiance as an artist. I don’t know him, but he seems like…

Does he know? Photo by Sanket Kumar on Unsplash

I think I can surmise today as a day of unfocus. Or lack of attention to anything outside my immediate satisfaction.

Maybe I was honest with myself. Maybe I need to detach from my identification with shortcoming. Maybe I’m facing the consequences of prolonged selfishness.

Or recklessness.

I never want to be passive. When I encounter opportunity to show and think and express I want to have the capacity to do so. I’m left unfulfilled when I don’t or can’t. I want to recharge from a place of strength and goodness. …

Somebody come get this guy? Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash

I still don’t have any tattoos. I don’t really know if I’m supposed to get one.

The idea of permanence scares me. How do I know what I know now will remain forever? I feel like the upside of a good tattoo does not justify the downside of a bad tattoo. Maybe I have a narrow sense of taste and see options as purely right or wrong. In reality, perhaps there is good and better.

Sometimes anything is better than nothing.

Maybe my life would instantly improve if I had a tattoo. I’d be cooler, edgy-er, more decorated, right? Or…

everything is quiet. but i feel aggressive.

i got off from a show i look away. i just wanted to be. i hear nothing.

im a slave everyday. i dont change the thing i know i should change.

when i dont use capitals i dont care. it feels very light and neat and passive

letters arent even real. they are signpost. they point to meaning but they are not meaning. if i write the word gum, you do not get gum. i could explain gum i could show you gum i could talk about gum for hours but you will…

Alec Zaffiro

Bored, uneducated, homeless — em dashes are my specialty. I write what I see, think, and feel. That’s it.

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