Done Trying to Figure It All Out
I wish I could quantify the amount of hours I spend stuck in the “what if.” I tend to pick at every aspect of my life: my career, my relationships, my environment.
Shit, I even criticize the food I eat for lunch sometimes.
I definitely think about my parents and girlfriend a lot. I wonder about my friends and even my “old” friends, too.
I question if I’m too distant or near-sighted — I think I’m hard to read… maybe that’s why I write. It’s my chance to say what I feel, but too naive to express in person.
My life is my fucking life. I need to focus on who I want to be, not where I want to be.
I get caught up in expectations and materialities.
It’s a troublesome way to go about it. I pay my dues in time though. I’m hard headed, so I gotta find out the hard way.
Let me slide a quote up in here and get real philosophical for a sec:
“The ultimate value in life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than mere survival.” -Aristotle
Contemplation? Check. Awareness? I’m woke af. (kidding)
I don’t just wanna survive, I want to thrive.
One thing I never lose is my faith. No, I’m not religious, but I believe in myself and I believe in the people around me. I never doubt my ability to learn and grow.
I’m confident I can be who, and what, I want to be one day.
Maybe I just need to adjust how I go about getting there.