Dumb, Lazy New Year’s Resolutions

“No s’more bad habits ha ha” Source: Unsplash

Resolutions are a fresh fart—start, I mean. They are a firm decision to do (or not do) something; like hitting the gas when a light turns yellow. You’re either going or I hate you. Simple as that! Here are some of my most stupidest New Year’s resolutions.

Increased cereal security. Normally, I just shove the bag down as far as I can and leave it at that. Seems like a fair compromise for something so…