A Glum Dosage

I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you exactly how I feel. I don’t want to sugar-coat anything or write something special, I just need to say what I think in the most direct form possible.

Inspiration is a wild mystery

The greatest things in life are free; emotions and ideas can drive us to happiness. These things aren’t commodities. You can’t walk into a store and purchase a bottle of confidence or love.

You’ve got to pursue them yourself. When, and if, you get them, don’t expect to own them forever. These things come and go. They never stay around too long and always run short eventually.

That’s been the story for me lately. I feel like I’ve dropped the ball. I’ve run low on those priceless emotions.

Gray area

I’m at a weird spot. I’m waiting for things to happen. I’m waiting for the holidays, I’m waiting to start an internship, I’m waiting to purchase a gym membership, I’m stuck waiting… or that’s how I’ve felt.

I’ve allowed these things to hold me back. More specifically, thoughts — I’ve allowed thoughts to hold me back.

As my head coach use to say (scream):

You’re feeling sorry for yourself!

And I am. I’ve let my environment and lack of resources pin me down. It hurts.


The weirdest part of it all is the shape-shifting of outlook and moral standing. One day I feel like this, the next I feel like that. I’m confused and stuck in drudgery. I’m feeling sorry for myself.

It’s got to change.

I’ve seen and experienced enough to realize life is a constant battle of ups and downs. When things take a dip, there’s an unpredictable upswing.

Inspiration comes in weird ways.


I’m disgusted. A bit much, but I’ve fallen trap to things that entertain. I’m numbing my frontal lobe and it’s hurting me, mentally and physically. I’m not moving.

But, today is different. Something happened. I read something that inspired me and I’m running with it. I’m done sitting here.


We can become inspired at any moment of the day. You have to add, though. You can’t cover up. You have to seek out information that can help.

Identify what’s holding you back and beat the shit out of it. You’ve got more to gain.

Bored, uneducated, homeless — em dashes are my specialty. I write what I see, think, and feel. That’s it.

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