Here’s the most insecure/honest thing I could think to write on a Sunday Night in March 2022
Addressing my problems. Putting dressing to my problems. The problem with problems is you’re not supposed to talk about them.
It’s counterintuitive to narrow in on them. That’s why they are problematic. But I have problems. And you do too, if you’re reading this.
Albeit awkward, it’s necessary to address what causes you imbalance or constitutes a “problem” in your peripheral.
Sometimes I write like a 70 year old professor. I am 25 but feel like 100. Writing is this thing for me that only makes sense if I don’t think about it.
It’s something that comes out of me. Like busts out of my body naturally. Shoutout to Theo Von for that one.
My issues are entirely up to me. I find many things problematic. Typically only things I can see. Or things I notice intensely at my peril.
I wonder what other people think of me. That’s a very useful thing to consider. What other people notice when I am around.
I think that’s maybe why I have an underlying aversion to social media. Like the idea that you can create a new you online. Then show it off.
The idea makes sense although dangerous. Who are we to rule over what other people notice about us? Especially at such a level of fidelity.
I guess we’ve been doing that for a very long time. Choosing what other people notice about us. I guess social media makes it really easy to be something you’re not. It’s a has potential for true expression, but unintentional utility in deception.
Why is that?
Because we don’t want to emphasize problems. And I mean our real life problems, the monotony we are all genuinely challenged by at a basic level.
Our comparisons. Our financial burdens. Our insecurity, self-doubt, and inability to act or think the way we know we should.
I notice problems are penetrable and flexible. If I choose that.
Sometimes I see them for what they are. Honest obstacles I must face. But also obstacles I am capable of overcoming.
And part of that is being able to call out and address my problems.