I’m glad I’m really busy.
I think “busy” has a negative connotation, as in someone who’s constantly on the run, miserably preoccupied with tasks, personal burdens, and stress.
Yes. I’m definitely on the run and stressed and all that.
But it’s better than the reverse (lazy, uninvolved, directionless). Even though it’s challenging and tiring, I know I’m doing the most. That’s code for working really hard and striving. Metaphorically, I’m burning the candle on both ends… but it’s great if your goal is to melt.
I want to melt.
I have to melt.
It’s my only option given the structure and layout of my life right now. I only have so many hours in the day. I only have so many opportunities to think creatively. I only have so much energy (physically and mentally).
Everyone does, duh.
But I just expect more.
So, when it’s 10 o’clock at night and I finally turn my mind off for the first time, I know I’ve done the most. Some days, I’m fulfilled and pleased — others, I’m exhausted, restless, and fed up.
But most of the time, I’m glad I’m really busy.