Intentionality

Yeah, the title is too vague. Not good.

I forget sometimes writing is about intentionality.

And thinking and causing.

Too many thoughts. Fast.

Intentionality. Being intentional is important. Being intentionally unintentional about your intentions makes no sense.

If I become more intentional. It takes attention to be intentional. How do you generate more intention.

People and expectations. Belief. The mind.

Sometimes my mind feels so full, it seems hopeless to say what’s inside. Wondering about expectations. Perceptions.

So much lives inside our mind, we constantly recapitulate information and experiences then we analyze them.

I’ve been feeling like I can be over analyzing. Simplification. You can be more intentional if you simplify for motives. If you align your being and become a more solidified being. You can move towards one thing, or a select set of things, if you form a coalition with the you you are now and the you you might become in the future if you prioritize that specific part of you.

How do you write publicly about the really personal things in your life. I don’t know why I feel like I can’t. It scares me. Why would I be so vulnerable to strangers. Does it mean anything. Is that fear irrational. I complain about no one seeing what I’m saying, yet I don’t even want them to.

I think this is good.

Like this is going well. If I was alone I would right priorities and say finances, marriage, discipline, competency, relationships, giving up things, being clear about my standards. That’s about as far as I’m willing to go here.

I cut my hair.

I am not the me I was when I cut my hair.

Sometimes I think something is the source of pain when it’s actually just a trigger for me to abstract and analyze and form mental angst about other things. How do I fill the time in my life with meaning. How do I get to where I can be sure about the meaning of my experiences and thoughts. How do I use what I have for good. How do I implement more of me in a world so complex and diverse. How do I not allow my privilege to stifle my drive. How do I maintain the pillars that make my life meaningful while minimizing the damage. How do I pace. Self-discipline.

Do I truly have self-discipline?