Yep, I did it. That’s me up there alongside pop culture’s most beloved music critic —internet’s busiest music nerd and revered Melon — Anthony Fantano.
I must admit, it’s laughable how much satisfaction I got out being in some guy’s YouTube video for just 5 seconds. A literal wave of joy and fulfillment rushed through my being as I replayed the same snippet over and over and over until it was basically branded into my brain.
Why so much contentment, you ask?
Is it because his channels have over 500 million views?
Is it because I might gain half a follower on my Twitter handle?
It’s because I escaped the inevitable DEATH GRIP Anthony Fantano had on my soul!!! I’m no longer shadowed by the hankering of him merely noticing me and I can go about life in peace.
“Thank God” he responded.
The Genius Behind Melon’s Fame Games
I must say, Fantano is a smart cookie; he’s doing rather well for a guy who makes videos from the confines of a closet. Since the late 2000’s, he’s gradually grown into his commendable, yet arduous, position of critiquing [maybe] the most eclectic subject in the world: wiggly air.
Fantano’s unusual success is not solely a result of his music prowess. To me, the attraction lies in his quirky video presence and rudimentary internet antics, much of which are suitable and conducive to his art.
Maybe the most clever constituent of Fantano’s YouTube empire is “Let’s Argue,” a segment in which Anthony encourages fans to @ him on Twitter with their hot takes, unpopular opinions, and tough questions.
Similar to dropping a fresh McNugget into a vat of piranhas, this creates a “hoopla” moment for the pitted Needle Drops.
Then, once the commotion settles, he cherry-picks the very best ones and responds to them in videos.
Although conniving, it’s genius.
Not only does this create a buzz amongst his Twitter following, it also lures every person who proposes an argument to flock to his channel — it locks them into intense commitment to binge watch every “Let’s Argue” in the future and beyond. They all want to tune in and see if Melon finds them worthy of discourse (myself included).
My Methodical, Brief Trial With “Let’s Argue!”
I’d be lying if I said my attempt to appear on Fantano’s show was not premeditated and short-lived. I’d seen plenty of episodes in the past and I always envied those who made it on. I soon began to wonder if I could do it… if I could entice Anthony to respond to my unpopular opinion. Within a single week of accepting this challenge, I succeeded.
Here’s precisely how I appeared on the show:
First, I opened a note on my phone. I labeled it “Hot Takes” and even used the bold Title formatting because I was that fucking serious.
Next, I ventured to Twitter where I turned on push notifications for @theneedledrop. I figured I’d have to react quick if I wanted a feasible chance at acknowledgement.
Then, I spent the next couple of days trying to conjure up potential takes worthy of rebuke. This part proved to be the most challenging. After hours of contemplation, I narrowed my take to involve any of these three conditions:
- Someone missing from Fantano’s recent commentary
- Something apropos to the current hip-hop landscape
- Something comically defunct (resulting in mockery)
It was difficult to come up with an angle that belonged to any of these categories. Originally, I came up with “Kodak Black would be next to nothing without the oddly fire production behind hits like Tunnel Vision, ZEZE, and If I’m Lyin I’m Flyin.”
But this proved futile.
So I returned to my notes and continued to brainstorm — then it hit me! Just like that, I had miraculously nailed all three conditions within a single take.
Lil dicky may never be relevant ever again
The rest is history.
As I reflect on this menial milestone, I feel accomplished, content, and rather manipulative. Dont get me wrong, being on the channel is my pleasure… I am grateful to share the stage with someone I admire so dearly. But, then again, I’m filled with indulgent, cocksure emotion from successfully and easily coaxing the Melon.