Well, this is technically my third.
I put out a laymans project in August 2018 called “Play on Words.” It was the first (and worst) music I ever released; it was borderline satirical. I wouldn’t even call it music now, it was honestly just me being an idiot with a less than basic understanding of audio production — which resulted in a comical collection of WAV files upon which I called “music.”
I found my means to suddenly create and release my own sounds on the Internet mostly ironic; I explain that here. Back in 2018, my life was, eh, the opposite of good. I would never surmise and say “music was a way to escape maaan” because I hate cliches and that’s one of them. But I was severely depressed and anxious (another story) and making stupid songs on my iPad kept me sane, distracted, and relatively productive.
I had fun learning the detailed, somewhat trivial aspects of music production. It’s a very involved process both technically and creatively. It provided a challenge to work against. Perhaps, during my suffering, it was of use to bear responsibility for a complex task — despite any real reason or merit.
“Play on Words” was the highest level production I could manage in 2018 given my knowledge and resources (or lack thereof). The music was awful, it’s a horribly embarrassing collection of songs. No one will hear it ever again and we can all thank God for that. But this was the beginning of my learning in this realm, which is crucial to where I am now.
“No one unwilling to be a foolish beginner can learn.”
- Jordan Peterson, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life (2021)
2018? Oh, that was three years ago.
You know about exponential growth, right? You’ve seen the little graphs I’m sure.
Notice how the last few sections along the x-axis make up roughy 80% of the results.
See the Pareto principle.
That sums up the last 5 or 6 months of my progress as a producer. I have gotten so much better, objectively (and hopefully subjectively) speaking.
It’s intrinsically satisfying to create something beyond yourself. I think this is why I continue to do music, because I am inspired by the depths to which I continue to learn and grow. I don’t care about accolades. I have 5 listeners on Spotify. I can only make what I can make and that is enough to motivate me. If the music doesn’t inspire or push my imagination or pull a mental landscape out of me, then I have no interest in creating it. I am determined to reach a place I will never arrive at in my mind. I don’t expect anyone to understand or approve of this process.
“The best part about making music is making it.”
I want to say this now before I explain my upcoming project: nothing else matters to me but the process of learning, imagining, and making. The reason I’m writing about music right now is because I love it. Do you know what love is? It has no limits. Like music. To me it is the fourth dimension, the transcendental essence of the human spirit. It has me by the ear and I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my music specifically.
“WORK IN PROCESS”
That’s it. That’s the title of my EP.
I think this works for me and how I feel about it.
Being in the drivers seat of a personal creative production is both fun and challenging. Creativity often inspires personification — or gives way to it at least. A movie director like Tarantino has the power to illicit a set of personas based off mention of his name; you perceive some element of character thinking about one of his films. The same is true for music.
I perform and release songs as Alec Haitians. Why? Because it looks cool and sounds better than my real name, but it also opens the door for a “larger than life,” creative apparition to emerge. I’ve thought a lot about this. The reason I’m fascinated by music is because it offers something greater to aim toward. Not only in skill and monetary reward, but in innate expression as an individual. It can take years to a lifetime for an artist to uncover distinct patterns or themes across their work. It is useful, prior to creating art, to have at least some intention, or awareness, about what persona you might present.
Alec Haitians is a creative persona — which means I have the luxury (and burden) of directing who, why, and what he is. This is the theatrical, dramatic aspect of music that is very, very fun to me. But it’s also trying. And exhausting if you’re particularly meticulous, introverted, and self-concious. The problem, or challenge, I’ve been up against the last three years has been figuring out what my music is. What sentiments float to the surface? What stylistic themes are emerging? What characterizes the sounds I connect with?
It’s impossible to know what my music means because I am in it both vicariously and literally; I don’t know what it’s like to perceive my music from any other angle. It lives inside my head, like a dream, then I spend hours upon hours upon hours brining it to form across thousands of inputs, tweaks, and revisions. I don’t know how that reaches other people. I’m sure it’s minuscule in significance. And rightfully so. It hurts me, to some degree, when the grandiosity of my ideas fall flat against the unforgiving nature of reality: our dreams are essentially nothing to the outside world. Maybe this is why I don’t like listening to my music in front of other people.
Thoughts on the project thus far:
The production and progression of my songs are important to me. I like to create some kind of journey or transformation within my songs — I think creatively this is the most admirable aspect.
I like being able to combine elements to make one thing, then reconfigure them to make something new. It’s kind of like going into a house with multiple rooms and modes of living. I might start a song in the living room, then take you upstairs or show you the basement. It’s like exploring new territory, yet still feeling like you’re in one home. It’s something like that.
In the past, my productions have been sloppily formulated and muffled by lack of competence and taste. I’m still behind in terms of technical resources and equipment. I don’t have fancy sound banks, I still use stock plug-ins, my recording studio has reflection issues. But there are definitely larger ideas in my music. They just have not seen proper form yet. Nor have they been identified or assemble clear enough to latch on to. Hopefully this is less of the case for this upcoming project. That seems reasonable.
Obviously, there is much to consider leading up to my first album. I could spend another year working on a “standard release” but I’m not. I don’t need to. I’m still making music on a very low level. I don’t expect anything to come of this in terms of external reaction or praise. Based on things previously mentioned, I kind of prefer this. I would rather not have mass distraction, or criticism, while I’m in the relatively early phase of learning and experimenting. This is beside the point though. I am on a process. My goal is to make better music than I made previously. To paint a more vibrant, detailed, careful image for the sake of the art. I know I have a long way to go — however, I am excited to share where I’m at.
What is the album called?
WORK IN PROCESS. Or “what a process.” Something like that.
Who is making the album?
Alec Haitians. Me. Guy writing this. I don’t work with beat makers, mixers, engineers, or promotors because I want to learn what they know. I want it all. I like being self-sufficient from a creative and technical standpoint.
Trap. Hip-hop. Experimental pop? I don’t know.
When is it dropping?
Some time before my 25th birthday, May 5th, 2021. Probably the last week of April.