Yeah, I’ve Been Really Into Sobbing Lately

6:45 AM

The glorious sound of “Old Car Horn” reverberates through my bedroom. My contacts are dry as the fan whirling above my head — there it is, the first thought I have every morning.

I have to get up.

Literally. I’ve been doing this thing where I leave my alarm across the room. I rip the covers off, unsure if this technique is really effective.

The room is cold and bare.

I can feel it as I stare into the carpet beneath my feet. There’s no sunlight today; there hasn’t been for a while. “Old Car Horn” continues to test my sanity, so I jump up and bash snooze with my fist, shattering the phone entirely. Reluctantly, I fall back into my mattress, which lays lower than I want it to. I will do this all over again in exactly 9 minutes.

6:54 AM

Still tired, I stand up and opt in for another 9 minutes.

7:04 AM

I stand up (still tired) and repeat this process for 3 more sets of 9 minutes.

7:34 AM

I finally decide to just bring my phone back to bed with me and hold my finger on snooze as I sleep.

It’s Saturday, I don’t even have to get up.